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Who am I even talking to?
The people I am yet to hurt?

Why do I do this?
Why.
Why does this keep happening?

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I never will.

I've tried so many times to just be a good person and be a good friend. That's all I've ever tired to do.

All I do is maim my friends. I hurt them and then they leave.

I will always be on the outside.
I'll always be looking in, at you all.

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Loving the new valve handheld. Looks sick.

My brain is so often clouded by anxiety that it's quite literally impossible to function.
Why do I have to live like this?

Went well didn't loose a friend and corrected some of my trauma woo

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I really need some reassurance, I stood up for myself and am very afraid I might loose a friend. 😱

Non-binary day, mh~, confusion, trauma mention 

Spending this non-binary day as a way to fight off old traumatic events that prevent me from even experimenting at all.

I will liberate myself and let myself experiment.

I'm also terrified I might lose a very close friend.

Nobody:

Absolutely nobody:

Me:
SNOOT SNOOT!!!
*MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS*
SNOOOOOOOOT!

... 

I would like to say I no longer have a place in this world, and that maybe, I could eventually find one...
But the brutal truth is; there never was a place for me to begin with.
I don't belong here or anywhere.

I'm never happy, I'm just delaying the inevitable sadness.

RSD, Gender, Question, (super important) 

People with RSD, how has that impacted your journey with gender and how you relate to gender?

I honestly want to know if there is overlap and what that looked like because I think it is super applicable to me, and wanna see if anyone else feels or felt similar.

Mh- 

Anyone else wanna barf every day because the one thing you really enjoyed is gone and you don't know what else to do with yourself?

Yeah me neither.

RSD, (caps), rant 

Is this just me. Why is my brain like this. Why do I get so fucking fearful of basic things?

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RSD, (caps), rant 

Look, I haven't been diagnosed, but I'm like 99.9999999999999% I got it, and can I just say HOW FUCKING CRIPPLING THIS DAMN THING IS.
I LEGITIMATELY AM SO AFRAID OF BEING REJECTED I DON'T EVEN ASK FOR FUCKING SHAMPOO WHEN I NEED SOME; OR EVEN EAT WHEN OTHER PEOPLE ARE IN THE KITCHEN BECAUSE IM TOO AFRAID TO DO THE WRONG THING.

And it's not invalid fear, I loose friends all the time. I'm a walking disappointment and this mental barrier doesn't make it any better. My mind sucks.

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